I’ve purchased an imported beer. I’m meeting someone good-looking. If the funk soul man on the radio’s any indication of my temperament, I’m one smooth cat. I’m talking to you, sexy bartender I’m winking at. I wonder if they have WIFI at this bar. I’ll ask this dude. Oh, we’re twins! Same computer! We’re the same! Except you look like an idiot. Eat me, other idiot guy with the same computer. I bet you’re writing something stupid. No one cares about your cat. Or those black jeans. Black jeans are for losers who talk about their cats on poorly designed blogs. I’m drinking my imported beer now. Don’t look at me. I’m cool with my white belt. I bet they don’t have WIFI here. Losers like you, black jeans, they use their computers without WIFI. I’m quitting my laptop now. My hair looks cool.