first, put find some gross-ass shit and mix it with baby diaper shit (tip: baby diaper shit made of ass-shit from baby asses is better if you use the biggest baby diapers made of ass-shit from the biggest-ass asses of baby asses, so use this kind).
next, like when you make a big-ass old person shit sandwich, mix owl shit with clams and runny ass. then add your baby diaper shit to the mixture and mix everything together with a rusty spoon. pour mixture on bread.
for extra flavor, shit on your shit sandwich and add just a dash of shitty ass paper and ass parsley (in shit, if possible) for presentation.