[The sky in front of you is dark. Somehow, you make out a single tree that rests off to your left. Sitting still, you hold your gun straight - straight in your grip, waiting.]
Shoot. (forward)
Take a drink of whiskey, of aiming oil. Ruff! Ruff! Dog jumps behind bushes. Duck flies up from underneath you. You shoot; a duck falls. Dog grips the duck, and smiles approvingly. Drink a drink of whiskey: aiming oil. More of a challenge, you think. You need more of a challenge than this when hunting. This is too easy, this kind of hunting. Pansy hunting. More speed, you need more speed. Start over. Real man.
Shoot Shoot. (down)
Shoot. (forward)
Dog jumps behind bushes. Two ducks fly up from underneath you. Shoot. Shoot. Hit both ducks. Both ducks dead! Dead! Dog holds both. Smiles approvingly. Lovable. Cute dog. Aiming oil.
Ruff! Ruff! Shoot. Shoot. Two more ducks dead! Lovable dog! Aiming oil. Ruff! Ruff! Dog jumps behind the bushes. Cute!
Aiming oil. Shoot. Shoot. Kill two more. Cute dog! Ruff! Ruff! Shoot. Shoot. Two more. Doggie! Aiming oil. Ducks are growing in speed. Faster ducks. Aiming oil. Ruff! Ruff! Two ducks from below. Shoot Shoot. Shoot. Kill both. Dog smiles. Ruff! Ruff! Faster. Aiming oil! Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Flap. Flap. One kill. Crap. Slipping. Crap. Aiming oil. Aiming oil. Straighten gun. Ruff! Ruff! Faster.
Aiming oil. Pause. Set gun down… Bathroom. Whistle. Shake. Wash hands. Return. Hunting position. Aiming oil. Begin.
Ducks fly. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Both dead. Hang on. You can do this. Hunting. Dog smiles. You can hunt. Ruff! Ruff! Aiming oil. Shoot Shoot. Shoot. One duck escapes. Faster ducks! Ducks are harder to kill. Ruff! Ruff!
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Flap. Flap. No ducks. Dog laughs. Humiliates. Forgive. Humility is key for hunting. Understand. Overcome. Achieve. Straighten gun. Aiming oil. Straighten gun. Ruff! Ruff! Two more ducks.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Flap. Flap. No ducks dead. Dog laughs at you. Laughing hurts. Hurts your heart. You remember the time your girlfriend laughed at your sexual inadequacy. It too hurts. Some men are different. Different! Ruff! Ruff! Jerk dog. Two more ducks.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Flap. Flap. No ducks shot! No ducks! Dog pops up. HA HA! Shoot! You hit him! Ruff! Ruff! Crap! Still alive. Two more ducks. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Flap. Flap. No ducks dead! Dog cackles. Dog freaking cackles at you. Dog cackles a cackle to end all cackles. A cackle that says, “your libido is freaking weak, hunter – are you even able to produce an erection?” Restrain shots. Not all men are the same. Humility. Restrain. Aiming oil. Aiming oil. Aiming oil. Different! Ruff! Ruff! Hiccup. Two more fucking ducks.
Shoot Shoot. Shoot. Flap. FLAP! Laughter. Laughing. LAUGHING! Dog cackles, “Cialis, less-than-man, Cialis?” Shoot Shoot SHOOT! See dog as mound of stupid blood. See him dead. Shoot! Envision. SHOOT!Dead. “Cialis?” Aiming oil. Aiming oil. Damn him. Hit ground. Tears. Damn him and his prowess mocking dick cackle. Some men are different! Hiccup. Different! Tears. Cry. Shoot Shoot! You can hold an Erection! SHOOT! Easy Erections All Day! Shoot Shoot! Erection! Shoot Shoot SHOOT! Hit ground. “Cialis?” Erections All Over! Different! SHOOT! Ruff! Ruff! NO! NO! Throw gun. Wipe tears. Wipe tears away. Cry. Cry. Tears. Sniffle. Hiccup.
Reset…
Polish off aiming oil. Wipe tears.
Shoot Shoot Shoot. (down)
Game Three: Skeet. Try to hold gun up straight. Hold gun up straight. Take an empty swig. Wipe tears. Straighten gun.
Shoot.