My platform is simple: I won’t ever take a side in a political argument other than ‘all politicians are fucking assholes’, I will crush bad web design, I will destroy people who eat meat and do not understand that it comes from dead animals, and I will champion nice people who are honest and want to live small and quiet lives. I advocate people spending some time outside and maybe planting a tree, or looking at some animals in the wild without any objective other than looking at animals in the wild and having a nice time. I am pro-naps. I am for people playing video games instead of reading if it makes them feel okay. I am all about the internet and computer time. I think America is okay, but there are probably a lot of countries that are nicer places to live. My vice presidential candidate is my dog, Sunday, who will be the first female and animal candidate for vice president.
Join me and vote Morgan/Dog. Check ‘Fuck Us All’ on election day. Save my unborn child from looking at assholes on television all the time.