He’s probably the most obnoxious person to look at in the entire world. I am frightened by his love of bongos, the University of Texas, and not wearing a shirt. His site plays reggae and is 100% Flash.
And truthfully, even with all of those negatives, I am not above loving McConaughey. I laugh out-loud every time I read one of his ridiculous McConaughey-styled proverbs, and I will likely buy some piece of shit from his celebrity fashion brand J. K. LIVIN, because it’s too incredible not to. He plans on selling Koozies and flip-flops, which are like my two most important life items.
In short, like The Hills, The Cheesecake Factory, and gin, I never cease to be blown-the-fuck away by how awesome McConaughey is, even when I try to forget about his existence.
The Texas Monthly article describes an encounter with McConaughey in his Hollywood mansion where, by a pool overlooking “half of Los Angeles,” McConaughey talks at-length about how great the ice from Sonic is, and how it took him a long time to find an ice maker for his home that would make the same ice that Sonic makes.
And surprisingly, as of this morning, I really want an ice maker that makes the Sonic ice. It is my new life goal. That ice is incredible. It takes a McConaughey to add something like that to my life.
It takes a McConaughey to teach a man like me how to fly like a sparrow on the wings of freedom, man.
Rock on, Earth.