I
“Steady Eatin’ Booty,” pumps through my iPod. Too Short, mama. Drop me off. I’m packin’ 30-inches of beef, and today is a big day, mothermother. A day of fly bitches and big burritos. I’m taking this project by force, mom. Can I have some money for a soda?
II
Where the hell is my burrito? 30-inches, baby. Why are we going to the cafeteria, my bitches? Don’t hate the player, hate the game. You seen my burrito anywhere? Dudes?
III
AL QUEDA! TERRORISM! BOMB!!!
IV
False alarm baby, it was just my 30-inch burrito. Its got marinated beef, guacamole, lettuce, salsa, and jalapenos. It’s not a bomb, it’s a burrito, baby. Would you like a bite of my burrito? It’s the bomb. 30-inches of marinated beef, Mrs. Russell. So much beef. So much beef, you won’t know whether to laugh or cry.