If the new Boards of Canada album “The Campfire Headphase” was a type of fruit instead of an electronic album, I would eat this fruit everyday. I would covet such a fruit.
I might make a fruit salad this weekend, a fruit salad that only has this fruit in it, the new Boards of Canada album fruit. I would probably have to cut it with a knife, because such a fruit would be dense and juicy, but not mellonballer-friendly. It’d probably be like an orange.
I take that back. I mean, it’s pulpy, for sure, but not orange like an orange. It doesn’t even taste like an orange. It would probably taste like licking a mango-covered floor covered in lime-salt and nicotine, or like one of those apples that taste like a grape, but dipped in wax and sand.
It would bruise easily, but that would somehow only add to its flavor. It would grow on a vine, and not a tree. It would not taste good as a juice, unless, of course, you added cranberry.
All in all, I would plant a vine of this fruit in the middle of my apartment, and sit around underneath it until I had my first harvest. I would make most of it into a jam for my toast, but the rest, I would just close my eyes and dig, like eating the fruit was an escape into the dirt where it was born.